Undead

by Rizzy

This is Australian B movies at their finest right here ladies and gentlemen.  And I'm pretty sure this is going to be my longest Bview yet because of it. For those of you who don't know anything about the film the plot feels like a reinvention of the Ed Wood film Plan 9 From Outer Space (which I still need to Bview... ugh!). There's aliens and zombies and killing and crazy guns and yeah, this is one of those films that you need to create a checklist for.  How many things can we fit into one movie:

• Zombies
• Aliens
• Small Town Hics
• Conspiracy Theorists
• Bad Ass Chick Lead (who's often more masculine then feminine)
• Crazy weapons (3 shotguns, 1 trigger anyone?)
• Zombie FISH?!
• Tainted Rain
• and much, MUCH more!

Oh God, this movie is so awesomely BAD. I wish I owned it. In fact, I'm adding this to my MUST OWN list. MUST hear me? Go buy it now!  Cause it's that terribly awesome and awesomely horrible all in one.

So here is our lead the beauty queen of the town: Rene played by Felicity Mason,, who I'm not going to say is ugly by far, but I mean look at that jaw line! Tell me she isn't a bit mannish.  Tell me if you saw an Adam's apple on her that you wouldn't be shocked.  I think the overload of make up adds to this effect by making it feel like she's trying to cover up something... that and the pencil thin over-tweased eyebrows. And she's a beauty queen.  Oh, she's a queen alright. Though by the size of this town it is very possible that she is the hottest girl in it. Sadly only too possible. One thing though, Felicity honey, please take an acting class or two to help you tone things down a notch.  If you hadn't gone bug eyed quite so many times I might never have noticed your manly features.

My favorite thing about meteor showers in movies? They never ever ever take them seriously.  They always make a joke out of it.  This movie is no exception.  See that in the background? That's grandma getting hit and the entire theater laughs. You know why?  Cause about 30 seconds later she's going to stand back up as a zombie.  That's right these are zombie making meteors. How great is that? Most zombie films leave out the how of the zombie infection's birth. These guys practically center the story around it. It turns the film from vague to almost a concept film, which is really interesting. It also gives you this big question mark while you struggle to grasp everything that's going on in this film. That's right, I just said that this is a zombie film that has a greater plot than survival! That in and of itself is amazing!

See that guy jumping through the air? This is our local small town crazy.  He's built a bomb shelter in his basement. He owns a gun that's 3 shot guns strapped together with one trigger.  He's crazy even if it's grounded in fact.  You know what he's doing there? He's in a room with 3 zombies, instead of just killing them he feels the need to set down his gun, run across the kitchen, do a flip in the air, lock his spurs into the wall above the doorway and shoot them all with hand guns he pulls out of his ass (ok, that's not this scene, but I swear to God later in the film that happens, too) and shoot them upside down.. I'm not even joking.  This is a guy who's watched one too many action films and has dedicated his life not to killing zombies, but to killing them in the most bad ass way he can think of... even if it means risking his life for it.  He's ridiculous.  I love him.

Why is he so crazy? Well, he tells us in nice little flashbacks where we get to see that he's dealt with zombies before.  But not just any zombies, oh no, this guy has had to fight of zombie fish!  That's right, here is an image of a zombie fish attacking our dear hero Marion played by Mungo McKay. How can you not love a film that deals with zombie fish? Especially zombie fish attacks that end in UFO abductions? I'll tell you what I can't and therefor I totally love this film. BUY IT!!  BUY IT NOW!!

My very favorite part of this movie though is the sheer number of gun shooting goes on. There are a few scenes that is just gun shot after gun shot while they unload clips into legs, lamps, bottles, arms, stomachs and everywhere except in the head.  Apparently this small town does not have a video store, cause it's blatantly obvious no one here has seen a zombie film. I've never seen a group so clueless as to the "aim for the head" idea. They unload an entire round into a severed hand (twice) for heaven's sake!

Viewing this I feel like I'm watching someone playing a video game with the cheats on. Unlimited ammo anyone? Also we never see them reload, just shoot things off to the side (like the bottles mentioned above) apparently they do have an arcade in town, cause they know that the quickest way to reload is just to shoot offscreen. The cheese of this film is almost as awesome as their stupidity.

I haven't even gotten to the aliens yet, but I fear that talking about them will give away too much of the plot. If I haven't given you enough reasons to check this film out then you haven't been reading it! Go now! And if you like cheese buy it and thank me later. Seriously, if you want to worship me for this one and send me money and B movies and all that good stuff, I guess I'll be able to accept them. ;)

If you so choose, you can also check out the Undead Drinking Game