Mazes and Monsters (1982)

by Rizzy

So, I rented this movie based pretty much off the name alone and the cover which had a castle, labyrinth and dragons flying in the background on it. It also had a huge picture of Tom Hanks and I though, holy shit this is going to be like that crappy Dungeons and Dragon's move with less of a budget and staring Tom Hanks!! This will be the best movie of all time!  I will want to make love to the box on a daily basis!!  Sweet sweet nerd love.... mmmmmmmmmmm.....

And then I start watching the film.  Imagine my surprise when instead of heroics and thieves I get this. How much nerdier can you get then this guy right here.  Now I love nerds, I really do, but look at him!! This is no warrior! This is beyond nerdy! And there's four of them all this nerdy. Really smart and obviously "different" like a boy genius who went to college years before his time, a boy with a gift for computers who would rather design video games for a living than *gasp* do something productive with his life, and a, and this is really the shocker, intelligent, beautiful woman who enjoys playing games!!  I'm starting to think daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn already.

And then who pops up, but Tom Hanks.  Wonderful, amazing, before he was a star, Tom Hanks. And suddenly they start talking about how he can't play that terrible game any more and how much it's hurt him in the past and the dangers of the game. And then it hits me, OMG! This is one of those ANTI D&D movies! Suddenly I'm just laughing and I think, wow, this is going to be even BETTER than I thought it was going to be!! And you know what, it was. Seriously, how can you not (as a gamer) love a movie that makes any game out to be the work of the devil!! Especially when things like "making games for a living" are considering devil acts!

This is what game play looks like in this movie, which totally amuses the Hell out of me.  Who plays D&D (oh, I'm sorry I mean Mazes and Monsters) by candle light?  The entire way they set it up and show it makes it look like they've created this altar to the monsters and the game and that they worship it or something. The naive out look of this entire movie is really amusing actually. Like how one of the boys has a bad reputation as "the make out king" and so can't get a girlfriend, because none of the girls trust him and just want to make out with him. Oh, no! Kissing! What a complete whore!

This is where the movie starts to become fun for me, when they "bring the game to the next level" thus spinning out of control and losing all grasp on reality. What do they do? They basically invent LARPing!  Don't know what LARP is? It stands for Live Action Role Playing... it means that instead of doing things on an imaginary plane and having little figures represent who you are, you actually "become" your character and act out everything... For the record, I never have and never will LARP. Even this Nerd chica has got to draw her limits, right? No offense LARPers... one of my best friend's is a LARPer... I'll just never, ever be one.

Apparently LARPing leads to mild hallucination, cause this is what Tom Hanks sees in the cave and it's his imagination that brings it about. Apparently this is so vivid to him that he actually feels guilty after for killing something after the gaming session has finished. This marks the start of the mental break down that Tom Hanks experiences during this movie.  Personally I think it was spawned by the depression that this film would ruin his career or, even worse, have all of us nerds laughing at him years later when he made it big. But you know they use the reasoning that his brother ran away when he was young and, hey, that works, too!

If you wanted to rent this movie for bad ass effects though, don't bother.  I just showed you the best the movie has.  True story! That monster right there is pretty much all you get the entire film. And some crappy tunnel effect for talking to a higher power... and that's pretty much it.

Ok, so I've probably told you enough about how awesomely bad the plot to this film is, but I made it out to be anti D&D and it's not THAT anti D&D.  They don't outwardly ever say the game is evil.  They do have Tom Hanks completely have a pyschotic break though, which is reason enough to watch this film. Tom Hanks finding a game too much for him to handle and thus having a nervous breakdown.  Not just a little one, but a complete break down. Come on? You want to see that!!

It moves really slow, like impossibly slow, but it's worth it for the laughs if you're a D&D fan. If at all possible you should watch this with your D&D friends. If you want a night off from DMing this would also be a fun alternative. Lots of popcorn, lots of mockery and lots of beers/cokes all with some close nerd friends would make this movie really awesome times. No Joke! Give it a try and let me know!